Obama 2010

The New GM
(Government Motors)

Proudly Introduces

The 2010 Obama

This car runs on hot air, bull-shit and broken promises.

It has three wheels that speed the vehicle through tight left turns.

It comes complete with two Tele-prompters programmed to help the occupants talk their way out of any violations.

The transparent canopy reveals the plastic smiles still on the faces of all the happy owners.

Comes in S, M, L, XL and 2XL

It won't get you to work, but hey, there aren't any jobs anyway!

After 44 Years I Haven't Found a Better Deal...

IF YOU CAN FIND A BETTER DEAL, TAKE IT!
by Ann Coulter
January 6, 2010

Someone mentioned Christianity on television recently and liberals reacted with their usual howls of rage and blinking incomprehension.

On a Fox News panel discussing Tiger Woods, Brit Hume said, perfectly accurately:

"The extent to which he can recover, it seems to me, depends on his faith. He is said to be a Buddhist. I don't think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. So, my message to Tiger would be, 'Tiger, turn to the Christian faith and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world."

Hume's words, being 100 percent factually correct, sent liberals into a tizzy of sputtering rage, once again illustrating liberals' copious ignorance of Christianity. (Also illustrating the words of the Bible: "How is it you do not understand me when I speak? It is because you cannot bear to listen to my words." John 8:43.)

In The Washington Post, Tom Shales demanded that Hume apologize, saying he had "dissed about half a billion Buddhists on the planet."

Is Buddhism about forgiveness? Because, if so, Buddhists had better start demanding corrections from every book, magazine article and blog posting ever written on the subject, which claims Buddhists don't believe in God, but try to become their own gods.

I can't imagine that anyone thinks Tiger's problem was that he didn't sufficiently think of himself as a god, especially after that final putt in the Arnold Palmer Invitational last year.

In light of Shales' warning Hume about "what people are saying" about him, I hope Hume's a Christian, but that's not apparent from his inarguable description of Christianity. Of course, given the reaction to his remarks, apparently one has to be a regular New Testament scholar to have so much as a passing familiarity with the basic concept of Christianity.

On MSNBC, David Shuster invoked the "separation of church and television" (a phrase that also doesn't appear in the Constitution), bitterly complaining that Hume had brought up Christianity "out-of-the-blue" on "a political talk show."

Why on earth would Hume mention religion while discussing a public figure who had fallen from grace and was in need of redemption and forgiveness? Boy, talk about coming out of left field!

What religion -- what topic -- induces this sort of babbling idiocy? (If liberals really want to keep people from hearing about God, they should give Him his own show on MSNBC.)

Most perplexing was columnist Dan Savage's indignant accusation that Hume was claiming that Christianity "offers the best deal -- it gives you the get-out-of-adultery-free card that other religions just can't."

In fact, that's exactly what Christianity does. It's the best deal in the universe. (I know it seems strange that a self-described atheist and "radical sex advice columnist faggot" like Savage would miss the central point of Christianity, but there it is.)

God sent his only son to get the crap beaten out of him, die for our sins and rise from the dead. If you believe that, you're in. Your sins are washed away from you -- sins even worse than adultery! -- because of the cross.

"He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross." Colossians 2:14.

Surely you remember the cross, liberals -- the symbol banned by ACLU lawsuits from public property throughout the land?

Christianity is simultaneously the easiest religion in the world and the hardest religion in the world.

In the no-frills, economy-class version, you don't need a church, a teacher, candles, incense, special food or clothing; you don't need to pass a test or prove yourself in any way. All you'll need is a Bible (in order to grasp the amazing deal you're getting) and probably a water baptism, though even that's disputed.

You can be washing the dishes or walking your dog or just sitting there minding your business hating Susan Sarandon and accept that God sent his only son to die for your sins and rise from the dead ... and you're in!

"Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9.

If you do that, every rotten, sinful thing you've ever done is gone from you. You're every bit as much a Christian as the pope or Billy Graham.

No fine print, no "your mileage may vary," no blackout dates. God ought to do a TV spot: "I'm God Almighty, and if you can find a better deal than the one I'm offering, take it."

The Gospel makes this point approximately 1,000 times. Here are a few examples at random:

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16.

"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God." Ephesians 2:8.

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23.

In a boiling rage, liberals constantly accuse Christians of being "judgmental." No, we're relieved.

Christianity is also the hardest religion in the world because, if you believe Christ died for your sins and rose from the dead, you have no choice but to give your life entirely over to Him. No more sexual promiscuity, no lying, no cheating, no stealing, no killing inconvenient old people or unborn babies -- no doing what all the other kids do.

And no more caring what the world thinks of you -- because, as Jesus warned in a prophecy constantly fulfilled by liberals: The world will hate you.

With Christianity, your sins are forgiven, the slate is wiped clean and your eternal life is guaranteed through nothing you did yourself, even though you don't deserve it. It's the best deal in the universe.

COPYRIGHT 2009 ANN COULTER
DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL UCLICK
1130 Walnut, Kansas City, MO 64106

Overpay And Win!

I just came away from an appointment that I would not normally have made. The seller showed me all the "wanter-itis" "sores" I could stand to look at.

However, ever a masochist and always curious, I wanted to see the cute 1 acre property anyway, and keep my sub2 pitching arm toned up, so I played the interested "wanter" role anyway and asked to see the property today at 9 a.m.

I brought in my credential book ready to "yellow pad" the crap out of the victims, er the sellers, again just to keep my pitching arm toned up.

First I knew they wanted $25k up front. Deal killer. They owed $19k more on the property than it was worth. They were asking $100k more than what is was worth. Really a deal killer. They told me, point blank, they weren't desperate to sell the house. Really, really, really a deal killer. And finally, if this wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back, they wanted their Realtor buddy to be present at my presentation. OK, no really?

Well, upon arrival I discovered that the agent was one I made a verbal offer through two years ago on a pre-foreclosure. I know he was desperate to sell something, but I wasn't seriously interested in that deal either. I let the agent beat the seller up with my low-ball opinion. I know how the game works. I was helping him get a closing. He sold that house for 80k less partly because I gave him ammunition to discourage the seller with. he he.

Wow so now I've got an ally, I hoped. I introduced myself again and then pitched down the center. I showed everyone the examples of houses we buy and sell, and the referral and reference letters, that we support little league and the better business bureau, and offered the "bad news" RE articles, etc.

This was my second time at the property. I already toured the house the day I called, so that part of the presentation was moot. So, we just analyzed the numbers as if, and I outlined all the costs, carrying costs (based on 23 months of inventory! wow), and finally showed them that they would have to cough $20,000, if they waited for a retail buyer (as if the price weren't $100k over retail as it was). Frankly it would take them 10 years to find a buyer for that extra $100k in price. Actually, just one day, if they went with me! Who knew?! LOL

I informed the sellers that I was there to qualify them for our system of buying and selling (following the "cash now" script/pitch exactly).

During the scripted presentation, I uncovered all sorts of nook and crannies of need. Problematic for me was the wife was a ditz. She couldn't quite comprehend what "take over payments" meant exactly. arrrgh!

So it was an uphill battle. I digressed from the script in order to come at something the sellers could understand without having to defer to my now agent-buddy.

After explaining that I could make it possible for them to buy a cheaper house in AZ (and with the agents help in suggesting they could find a "low-down" lender in AZ), the entire pace of the negotiations picked up speed.

All of the sudden the need for $25k as a down payment disappeared, the fear of having to be responsible for repairs disappeared, and the fact that they could get out of the payments on the house, move to a cheaper home with a cheaper mortgage, could enable them to continue paying on their credit cards, and protect their credit became a genuine solution to them. Who knew?

So again I suggested two alternatives to the sellers; 1) a lease option (which I only suggested so that I could knock it down), or 2) take over the payments (which I showed all the more benefits of doing as opposed to "renting" their house for 10 years, etc.). It took me a while to explain how this could work as a long term solution to their $100k over-pricing.

Here's where you sharpy's might ask, why didn't the "yellow pad" analysis enable me to knock off $100k? Well, it did. However, I used the analysis to demonstrate that even their over-retail asking price wasn't going to net them anything. And from talking to them, they would rather have an REO, than let someone equity-strip their perception of equity.

I could see how $400 or $500 hundred extra a month just waiting for a gestation period would be worth my time anyhow, so I met their price, if they were willing to give me my terms. This was the crux of the negotiations.


Well, the couple can't continue paying on $40k of credit card debt, AND make their mortgage very much longer (of $287,000) --- and they really want to move to Arizona asap, so the hubby can die near relatives.

Meanwhile, they wanted enough out of the deal immediately to pay off the credit cards originally. I said, in not so many words, the best I can do is take over your first mortgage loan, and promise you the extra $100k in 120 months. And at this price, I'm not going to put anything down, or pay interest on the extra $100k, or make credit card payments. And btw, you'll need to leave everything here when you leave so that I can attract a decent buyer willing to pay $100k over retail.

They asked the Realtor buddy to confirm what I've said was true, and he backed me up 100%! Who knew?

Bottom line, they want to make sure that if they sell this way, they won't have to come back and fix anything, regardless if they lease option, or sub2 me. I said fine.

And their other concern is that one of them won't live out the 10 years, and will be stuck with the whole credit card bill and have to wait for the remaining $100k. I said fine. NO just kidding.

I just said I can only one thing here, and give you a silent, no interest 10-year balloon for the extra $100k.

So, now they're getting back in touch with the mortgage broker in AZ to see if they can actually buy a "used house" with very little down, and if they can, they said they want to do the deal. That's a far cry from we want $25k, and "What the f&@k does 'take over payments' mean!"

What I should have done is had them sign my preliminary Buy Agreement, and then let them do all their due diligence, and the actually force them to cancel our agreement. But, leaving the "printing out a contract" task until 8:30 this morning, and discovering that my printer server wouldn't recognize the wireless router (which has never happened), I went without being my usually prepared self.

So, after this couple finds out that they can get into a smaller house house, with a lower down in AZ, and still qualify for a loan since they've barely been able to keep their CC and house payments current --- I believe I can resell this place for a contract price of $390k in 10 years, realize a monthly spread on the payments of about $400 a month, with about $15k up front.

Just thought I'd share this scheme with you guys. The things that make this work are that the first mortgage has a low fixed interest rate or $1,700 mo. PI which is very marketable; I'm not paying anything on the perceived equity until 2018, and I'm able to get into the deal without any real cash (notary and recording fees); I'm only paying $1,400 taxes on a 1988 valuation/purchase; and I've got buyers for this thing in the pipeline.

Who knew any of this would be likely had I not made an appointment and made an off-the-cuff offer presentation, on a house I was only curious to use for comparison --- and was otherwise "loser deal".

Anyone else have a war story they want to share?

I let you know what happens when this couple realizes NOBODY else has what I have to offer them.

What is the biggest thing holding you back from investing in Real Estate